What does this say
by RamblesAndShambles9
Summary: Daryl, Rick, Glenn go on a tampon run, (hint of Caryl, Richonne, Gleggie)
1. Chapter 1

Daryl was scratching his head looking at a list given to him when he left the prison. They put a list up in the common room or people to add what they needed. Desperately apparently.

Rick, Daryl and Glenn were on a run, they promised to try get the stuff off the list. They were standing in a well stocked store starring at the women's isle. All men had back packs on in case they found something that they wanted to keep for them or their other half without taking it back for the whole group at the prison pawing over it, last time they came back their women missed out because they were doing stuff and the other women grabbed all the best stuff.

Weapons still strapped to their sides, Daryls crossbow resting near his feet.

'What the fuck is this?' Pointing to something on the list, Glenn and Rick looked at the list. Glenn blushed red.

'I think its lube!' Whispered Glenn.

'Why the fuck you whispering for? No one is here!' Rick whispered back.

'Are we whispering because we are talking about lube?' Whispered Daryl snickering.

'What else is on the list? Is this your list Daryl?' Glenn asked

'Fuck off! I an't need no lube!' Daryl snarled. Both Rick and Daryl looked at Daryl in surprise.

'You and Carol not ... ummmm you know?' Rick made a whistling sound, Daryl came around in a snarl.

'I just don't need no lube! I'm a real man!' Daryl snarled.

'Whats on the list then?' Asked Glenn trying to grab it.

They looked at the lube, and massage oils, Rick, Daryl and Glenn started grabbing at it shoving some in their back packs for themselves. Chucking some in the trolley for everyone else.

'What are thoses?' Daryl asked. Pointing to a name, a brand name. The three of them stared at the shelves in the women's section. It was still pretty full but they didn't want to leave without getting shit off the list. They would get as much as they could but the women were desperate for stuff on the list.

'What the fuck are pettie tampons? What pettie? Is that a brand or a colour or something?' Glenn asked opening a box of tampons hoping that would help him figure it out. Held one in his hand and unwrapped it. Rick and Daryl watched as he tried to work the applicator.

'What's this bit called?' Glenn asked holding the cardboard applicator in one hand and the tampon by the string in the other. Daryl started chewing his thumb and Rick began stroking his stubble shaking his head, both men thinking hard.

'Regular, no applicator? Why do you need a applicator? What's the applicator? Is it a chart or something they keep track of stuff and things?' Rick asked reading the list.

'How the fuck would I know I an't ever had to buy this shit before Rick, till now I guess Carol got that shit from the storage room, Fuck I don't even know when if any of the women get them, or not all those bitches seem to be in sinc or somethin!' Daryl growled.

'I read something about them all lining up when they are all together all the time something about hormones. Getting their ummmmm "PERIODS" at the same time!' Whispered Glenn. ' 'Which ones does Carol use Daryl?' Glenn asked looking at Daryl wide eyed.

'I an't been there when she been using it! Fuck man you been married and now with 'chonne, you telling me you never brought this shit?' Daryl asked trying to reflect some of Glenn's interest onto Rick.

'I always took a empty box!' Admitted Rick. 'I don't know what 'chonne uses neither! I don't know if she gets it she just tells me to fuck off once a month like she's gonna chop my head off with her sword!'

'Slim fit? Slim fit? Isn't that like jean's!' Glenn asked reading the next thing on the list, looking up the isles for jeans. 'There are no jean's in the women's isle!'

'Why do you think they all have strings attached?' Glenn still swinging a tampon by the string. Making it spin Circles, Rick and Daryl looked at him if he was completely mad.

'Why the fuck you think?' Muttered Rick.

'Ewwwwww!' Groaned Glenn, Rick and Daryl physically shuddered.

'Super tampons?' Daryl groaned, looking at the list again. Then looking around the shelves. 'Fuck can any of you guys see super Tampons?'

' I can only see heavy flow ones!' Rick said as he flicked his flash light over the shelves shaking his head in wonder.

'Why is it all complicated. Why doesn't one size fit all?' Questioned Rick

'Pads and panty liners!' Daryl muttered looking at the shelf. He groaned as he saw them.

'How the fuck do you think g-string panty liners work?' Glenn asked.

'Why do women wear panty liners anyway?' Rick asked looking at Daryl.

'How the fuck would I fucken know, ya fucken idiot!' Daryl Growled.

'I don't know man lets just grab it all!' Daryl suggested.

'Condom's!' Rick read. 'Always condoms on the list who keeps using them all?' Both Daryl and Rick looked at Glenn.

'For her pleasure? Who wrote that? Is there ones for her Pleasure how does that work?' Read Daryl. The all snickered Rick locating a box that said for her pleasure.

'Open one!' Whispered Glenn, getting slightly excited about them for her pleasure. Rick laughed and rolled one up his arm, Daryl shook his head.

'Ya dick an't that big I seen it!' He growled getting sick of the fucking around. There was about 20 things on the list they still needed to find.

'Extra large sized condoms! An't no one needing that shit! Who the fuck needs super sized condoms?' Daryl stated. Glenn and Rick shook their head.

'Don't know, who's writing is it?' Glenn tried to see.

'Who has the biggest dick at the prison?' Asked Rick looking at Daryl again. Daryl looked like he wanted to hit him.

'I an't been looking at no one's dick in the shower, have you?' Daryl growled at Rick.

'Well you said you seen mine I assumed you saw others' Stated Rick.

'Half the fucken prison seen your Rick!' growled Daryl, thinking back to when Rick got drunk and decided to do a strip tease in the common room. They looked at Glenn who blushed.

'Maybe Bob or Ty?' Glenn muttered holding the list up to the flash light seeing if they could figure out who's writing it was. It actually looked like Carols thought Daryl laughing to himself.

'Its Carol's look!' Glenn whispered pointed to the top of the list where Carol had written the name on the list. Rick and Glenn looked at Daryl.

'Some one has high expectations of themselves! Mine is bigger!' Stated Rick, he stepped away as Daryl started to growl. He slipped a few boxes into his pack in case they were for him.

'Cock rings! Who the fuck wrote cock rings! on the list!' Daryl groaned.

Glenn was laughing hard holding his sides.

'Do they sell them at the super market?' Asked Glenn.

'I don't know people just wrote on the list Glenn!' Daryl stated. Feeling a bit embarrassed.

'I want cock rings!' Stated Glenn, 'How do they work?' He looked totally honest looking at Daryl.

'I didn't fucken write it on the list! So stop looking at me!' Daryl grunted. He looked sideways at Rick because he was so still at his side, he knew it was Rick.'You dirty bastard!'

Rick grabbed a few packs and put it in his own back pack. What the fuck, Daryl and Glenn put some in theirs too.

'Electric tooth brushes! Why do we keep going through so many electric tooth brushes?' Asked Rick.

'We always get heaps and the women burn through them!' Rick looked totally innocent looking at the men.

Daryl and Glenn swallowed hard. Wondering if Rick was kidding.

'I think some of them use them for...' Glenn winked at Rick and raised his eyebrows. Rick shook his head not really understanding what Glenn was saying.

'Well I'm not supposed to tell but some of the women use them for... you know!' Glenn tried to say.

'You know!' Lowering his voice in a tiny whisper.

'Christ Rick some of them put them on their clit to get off! Ya fucken stupid! Even I have heard of a redneck vibrator!' Daryl whispered in a hissy to Rick looking around as if the women of the prison were standing behind them.

'So when every women in the place pounces on the toothbrushes they are ... you know!' Rick whispered back shocked. Scratching his head. 'Michonne's got like ten dead ones in our cell!' He whispered. Rubbing his stubble, 'You mean she's been?' Not really knowing what to say. Daryl bit his lip, Glenn was laughing out right.

'Don't need to know!' Whispered back Daryl. 'But maybe suggest borrowing one and see what she say's!'

'You mean Carol has got one?' Rick asked Daryl.

Daryl Shook his head. 'Nah threw that shit out, if she wants to get off I can get her off! Unlike!...' Daryl nodded and pointed at Glenn and Rick, Daryl smirked.

'So at night time when I'm going out to watch they really aren't brushing their teeth at midnight?' Rick looked totally shocked. Daryl was laughing hard. Glenn looked embarrassed.

'You mean we are risking our lives here so the women an masturbate? Even Beth?' Rick hissed, Looking around. Well they really weren't risking their lives there were no walkers about.

'No Rick I like to pretend my 17 year old sister in-law is brushing her teeth when she pounces on a tooth brush after a run!' Glenn stated. Rick and Daryl laughed their arses off.

Daryl reached up and grabbed handfuls of electric tooth brushes. Rick put his hand on his.

'Lets pretend there were none!' Raising his eyebrows. Daryl shook his head.

'Nah man imagine what they would all be like Cranky enough already without that Shit! Imagine what they would be like if they never got off. It an't like you never spanked it in the shower Rick!' Knowing full well he had caught Rick spanking it more than once in the showers.

'Ok Gentlemen whats next. Shavers, hair wax, hair dye and hair removal cream.' Glenn shuddered thinking about it.

Daryl grabbed every box of tampons he could get and ever pad he could get, and smirked to himself loading it up with electric toothbrushes. And normal ones

'Who do you thinks doing their bikini line?' Rick asked, Glenn and Daryl suddenly were really interested in finding out who was going to get lucky in that area. Shavers and things had run out a month ago and they hadn't been able to find any more for a while. All the women were getting hairy. In Carols writing there was a note. (GET IT ALL!). Daryl took some shavers and hair removal cream and shoved it in his own bag noting the others were doing the same. The rest they piled in the trolley.

Pregnancy tests Daryl, Rick and Glenn swallowed hard hopping that one wasn't for them. They piled in all the tests. They had cleared the women's isle of its products took it out to the truck and come back in.

They all shoved deodorants and shampoos in their own bags before filling another trolley up with shampoo and gels and hair wax and all sorts of stuff for the hair.

Daryl started sniffing the perfume and decided to grab one of each for Carol so she could chose which one she wanted first. Rick and Glenn did the same. Putting the rest in the group horde.

'Why do we have to get the underwear?' Groaned Glenn.

'Dunno this looks fun!' Holding up a sexy bra and panty set against himself, Rick looked interested in pawing through it.

'Just get it all, get every size pile it up I'm done looking at this shit!' Daryl groaned looking at Glenn and Rick who were being stupid trying to figure out if the set they held would fit their women, they are fucken idiots, he thought.

What the fuck thought Daryl pulling up a trolley and swooping arm fulls of sexy underwear. Dumping it in the trolleys. Dumb bastards didn't even know what size their women wore. At least Daryl knew that. Always on the look out for the sexy stuff Carol wore under everyday clothes, only stuff that he knew about. Sorting through stuff shoving stuff that fitted her in his bag, taking care to choose stuff he would like to see her in.

Also being smart and getting stuff she could run in if they were killing walkers and 'normal underwear' please Daryl rung in his ears. You didn't want your boobs flopping around bouncing up to bang you in the eye if you have to run, she always said. Laughing to himself because he was getting the best stuff cos he knew her size.

Putting it all in the truck Daryl, Rick, and Glenn gathered anything else they thought they would need. Daryl grabbed some razors, deodorant and shower gel and anything that took his fancy. They threw everything else they could in the back of the truck.

Rick got into the drivers seat and they drove off to the prison.

'I learnt more today than I want to. I am not going to be there when you hand out those toothbrushes!' Rick announced, Daryl and Glenn snicked.

'Well maybe if you pushed the right buttons 'Chonne won't need one!' Stated Daryl. 'I got a book if you want to look at it!'

'I want to look at the book!' Glenns voice pipped up from the back seat.


	2. Chapter 2

I have been pushed to write them arriving back with the stuff and things...

tell me if you like it.

Chapter Text

Daryl and Glenn were dozing when Rick drove back through the prison gates with their horde of stuff and things for the women of the prison. Michonne waved them through the gates shutting it behind them followed it up walking behind the whole way. Rick was feeling very embarrassed as Daryl had teased him most of the way home about not knowing about the redneck vibrator, and tried giving him pointers on how to please a women.

Glenn had been listening from the back seat. Rick couldn't believe he was taking advice from Daryl, who had hardly ever been with a girl ever and Glenn who was like a puppy on X when he talked about sex. Rick couldn't believe that all the women in the prison were using the toothbrushes to masturbate and also making him go out and get them so they could 'Get off' as Daryl put it.

'Masturbation isn't dirty Rick, its natural and normal!' Pipped up Glenn from the back seat. Glenn would know thought Rick thinking that Maggie was the first girl ever to go out with him. Marry him even.

'Stop saying Masturbation! I'm never going to be able to look any of those women in the eye again!' Rick shot over his shoulder to Glenn. Daryl had sniggered most of the way home.

'Look Rick you just have to think of it as a magic button an't ya. Ya push it and the good stuff comes!' Laughing at his own joke. Then mumbled that he was tired and was going to get some shut eye before getting to the prison.

Carol and Maggie came out in the direction of the common room and greeted them as the truck pulled up close so they could empty it without much drama.

'What did you get?' Maggie asked Glenn.

'We got stuff and things, ummmm and the stuff!' Answered Rick, hanging his head a bit wondering where to look. Feeling a bit embarrassed knowing what he now knew, before now he was greeted like he was famous bringing home the bootie, the electric tooth brushes. Now he knew he felt mortified and didn't know where to look. Glenn and Daryl had known all this time.

'You got stuff and things huh? That's unlike you Rick!' Maggie giggled.

Daryl was heaving boxes of tampons out of the truck muttering away to Carol about tampons.

'Do you even used this shit Carol?' Daryl whispered, thinking about it on the way back he couldn't remember her ever saying she had her period.

'No Dary!l I just wait for the magical unicorns to come once a month and take it away. Of course I use this stuff. I'm only 40!' He looked at her surprised, wondering how he didn't know. How could he know know their sex life never seemed to suffer from it. Thinking on that for a moment he shuddered.

'So yes I do get my period, I just don't bitch about it like everyone else does!' Carol stated picking up a box stalking inside. Daryl wondered if she was on it now.  
>He also wasn't dumb enough to know he was in the shit.<p>

'Did you get the stuff?' Whispered Michonne to Rick, gathering up a box, having come up from locking the gate after they drove in. Nodding in the general direction of Rick's back pack.

'I got some stuff!' Whispered Rick. Wondering what stuff she actually was talking about. He hoped he had the stuff she wanted the grabbed pretty much all of it.

'We got the things!' Stated Glenn winking to Michonne. Michonne glared at Rick, who put his palms up in the air.

'I got some stuff, Daryl got some things!' Rick stated glaring back at Michonne who was digging through her box discovering she had the electric toothbrushes. She shoved a couple of packs down the front of her shirt and called out to Maggie.

'You want?' Maggie took some and put them into Glenns bag.

'Carol, you want?' Asked Michonne looking in Carol's general direction, as she was coming back for another load.

'No, she don't fucken want that shit!' Daryl growled answering for her. Carol giggled looking at Daryl looking at Rick waiting for him to say something. Carol had her hands on Daryl's arms trying to shhhhhhh him. Whispering not to tell everyone what the women wanted the toothbrushes for.

Daryl's face blushed.

'Daryl! Daryl did you tell Rick? Daryl! You promised!' Carol scolded Daryl.

'I didn't tell Rick at first, it was Glenn he told him first!' Whispered back Daryl. Carol cocked her head on the side stared at Daryl.'

'And how did Glenn find out. I know Maggie wouldn't have blabbed about it!' Carol asked, Daryl just mumbled about getting her something pretty.

'Ummmmmm you sure you neeeeeed an electric tooth brush 'chonne?' Rick stumbled over his words blushing terribly.

'Who doesn't enjoy using an electric toothbrush?' Stated Michonne, 'I mean you don't need an electric toothbrush but they do a good job!' Rick hung his head. Daryl elbowed Carol who was smacking Daryls arm.

Glenn was bouncing around like a puppy enjoying the sexual tension in the air. Maggie tried to quiet him down with shhhhhhhhing sounds.

Daryl was staggering up the steps behind Glenn and RIck although his boxes were not heavy he he had piled them high and couldn't see where he was going.

Coming down into the common room a cheer went up about their return, Michonne stopped suddenly Daryl not seeing her tripped her over and her box went flying tooth brushes, Tampons, Panties/Bra's and cock rings went flying everywhere around the room. Rick, Daryl and Glenn all stopped moving as taking in the scene before them. Beth and Carl were playing a game of cards in the corner. Looked up to see what was spilt out of the boxes.

'Out NOW!' Shouted Rick trying to sheild Carl and Beth from the stuff and things still being kicked around the room. 'Oh good tooth brushes, thanks Rick!' Beth bent down and picked up two tooth brushes and kissed Rick on the cheek. Ricks cheeks were flaming.

'What are these Dad?' Asked Carl holding up a box of cock rings. Rick snatched them of Carl and sent them both off on a mission to find Patrick to play lego. Rick looked mortified Carol and Daryl were in hysterics. Michonne wondering what was going on. Hershal was trying to get Beth out of the room pushing her towards the cell block.

'But Daddy, I want to look at the pretty bras and things!' They could hear Beth complaining to her Dad. Beth's cries could be heard the whole way down the cell block. Daryl smirked at Glenn who was blushing as red as Rick!

As predicted all the women of the prison group dove on the toothbrushes, Rick stood back wanting to leave but was to embarrassed to move anywhere. Michonne went to look through the things, he stepped forward, 'I got some stuff in my bag for you!' He dragged her towards their cell. Carol and Daryl were watching and laughing.

'Daryl did you think to tell him Michonne uses her tooth brush to brush her teeth? Poor guy's going to have a heart attack!' Carol growled at him scolding him slightly.  
>Daryl just stood there laughing and shaking his head.<p>


End file.
